I hate to-do lists. I truly do. Why do I hate them so? Let me explain.
I have a friend who is a very organized person. Everything in her life has its place, and everything has a time and date. She even makes a list of things that need to be done in the morning, and she gets them all done. I, on the other hand, can’t even remember half of the things I have to do in a given day.
The problem is that my friend’s system is a lot more efficient than mine, so when I see her checking off items from her list, I feel inadequate. I don’t want to be like that.
My life is already a mess. I’m always late for things, and I’ve never been good at keeping to schedules. So I’m not about to start trying to keep a list.
I know I should make a list of things to do, but the only thing that comes to mind is cleaning the house, and that’s not exactly something I need a written reminder for.
Then there are the things that are in my head, but that I’d have trouble getting out. Like, I have this idea for a short story, but it’s all jumbled up in my mind, and it’s not coming out right. Or what about the plot line of my novel? It’s not going anywhere.
But I’ve never had any problems with math before, and I thought writing a list of math problems would help me to solve my problems.
I wrote down some of the things I’ve been struggling with.
I was surprised at how quickly I was able to do the first few problems, and how well I was able to apply what I learned from those problems to the others. But then I got to problem number 12, and I started having trouble.
I worked on the problems for an hour, but I still couldn’t get them right. And the longer I worked on them, the worse they got. They didn’t just get harder; they got impossible.
I was furious at myself for wasting so much time, so I took a break, and tried to do some of the easier problems. But before too long I found myself right back where I’d been, staring at problem number 12.
I decided to put the paper away, and try to do it again later. But when I went to close my math book, I noticed a note sticking out from underneath.
It read:
You’re having trouble because you’re trying to force everything into one formula.
If you want to learn math, you have to stop thinking about formulas and start thinking about numbers.
The note had been signed by Mrs. Hargrove.
I looked around to see if anyone had seen me reading her notes. But no one seemed to be paying attention to me, so I stuffed the note in my pocket and went back to my math book.
The rest of the day, I kept trying to work on problem number 12.
…but I’m going on a tangent here. Let me get back to more reasons why I hate to-do lists.
Another terrible thing about to-do lists is that they don’t make you happy. When you complete a task on a to-do list, it’s almost as though you get an instant sense of achievement, and you feel really good about yourself for a while. But then, as soon as you look at your list again, it starts making you feel bad about yourself again. It’s like there’s a giant, horrible black hole in the center of your heart, and it’s sucking up all of your happiness.
For example, let’s say you finish a task on your to-do list. Then you look at your list again, and find that there are ten more things you still need to do. You feel awful, because now you know you’re never going to get done everything you need to get done. It’s just a waste of time and effort to keep on working on those ten things after you already finished the first thing.
And then there’s that sinking feeling that comes with knowing you have a list full of stuff you still have to get done, and there’s no way you can do it all before you die.
That’s why I don’t want to be like my friend. If you’re like her, you have nothing but happy thoughts on your list. Every time you check off a task, you think it’s over. And then, just when you’re starting to relax, you look at your list again, and you start panicking again.
I’m not saying that there’s anything wrong with feeling good after doing something on your list. But I think it should be a reward for finishing something, not a way to punish yourself for not finishing everything on your list.
That’s why I’ve decided not to make a list of things I need to get done today.